What was on TV? Mon, Feb 28, 2005

20 years ago, Mo'Nique was five years away from winning an Oscar. Let's see what was on TV!

8:00 American Idol on Fox

4x14 "Top 10 Men Perform"

This was the 10th episode of American Idol that Fox aired this February. On 1 in 3 days that month, there was new American Idol in primetime. For several weeks, Fox programmed new episodes on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Wednesdays, And people watched it! People could not get enough American Idol.

You could say that Fox was just giving the people what they wanted. But they were also trying to win February sweeps. A win was all but assured, since Fox aired the Super Bowl this year. But they wanted to say that they won even without the Super Bowl. And Idol was key to that strategy: not only did every episode pull in massive ratings (over 23 million people watched this episode), but American Idol turned House from an endangered critical darling into a bon-fide hit, and the Monday editions of the show were boosting a resurgent 24.

But the previous week, they might have taken things too far. In a bloated hourlong results show, Ryan Seacrest split the guys into two groups. He told the first group to "relax" and then spent several minutes telling the second group one by one that they were...safe. So then the first group maybe didn't have cause to relax, since one of them was going home. It was tacky and cruel and the viewers were bored and felt manipulated. There was a real outcry online, and Fox responded by shrinking the results show to a half hour. So they looked like they were listening, and they could program the flagging Simple Life after the results show.

9:00 24 on Fox

4x11 "Day 4: 5:00 P.M. - 6:00 P.M."

I'm happy that the storyline featuring the boss Alberta Watson's mentally ill daughter is over. It was tiresome as hell. But when I realized that this daughter was going to kill herself while her mom foiled the terrorists, my eyes rolled into the back of my head. My eyes got a workout this episode since there was also the moment when it looked like Tony was going to torture Shoreh Aghadashloo but surprise! He just threatens her son! You know how many torture scenes you have to show before not torturing someone counts as subversive?

But this episode also has an absolutely killer suspense sequence in which Jack and Curtis must find the bad guy (Arnold Vosloo as Habib Marwan) in a maze of office cubicles. It harnesses the mundane terror of that setting, reminding me of The Apartment and The Office (both the British and American versions). And when violence inevitably erupts? Chef's kiss. I swear that 24 anti-capitalist streak is at least half as strong as its xenophobic streak.

10:00 Girlfriends (recorded)

5x16 "See J-Spot Run"

I've seen a lot of special sweeps guest stars this February: Cynthia Nixon on ER, Martin Short on Arrested Development, Paris Hilton on SNL. But Mo'Nique as herself on Girlfriends is the best one. She has great scenes with the whole ensemble, and it all pays off in an absolutely hilarious tag. It celebrates the history of UPN's Monday night lineup of Black sitcoms and it's funny as hell.

And we get feels in this episode too! I'm enjoying Joan and William's breakup way more than I ever enjoyed her relationship. Joan crying in the bathroom because she's worried that William has replaced her with a new best friend is so special. And the scene where they work it all out is so sweet.

Later King of the Hill (recorded)

9x07 "Enrique-cilable Differences"

Shows love to take stabs at the network. It's supposed to be dangerous, but it gets old fast. Of course, it helps the jokes are funny. And King of the Hill got in some really good, and more importantly, funny shots at Big Daddy Fox on this episode.

Bobby wants to watch the Daytona 500, but Hank blocks the Fox channel outside of Football season. You can tell this show was written during plastic surgery nightmare reality show The Swan's brief heyday, because a show where they give a woman one boob job and make her do something disgusting to get the matching set appears to be behind the ban. Eventually, Bobby guesses his dad's password, and as he waits for the Daytona 500 we hear a promo for a show in which a woman gets a new face but must eat her old nose and lips to keep it. Did King of the Hill predict The Substance?

What Else Was On

• CBS conceded February sweeps to Fox, and put on repeats this week, saving episodes of hits like Everybody Loves Raymond, Two and a Half Men, and CSI: Miami for later in the season.
• Fans were not happy when Bachelorette Jen Scheff didn't even pick a guy, rejecting proposals from her two finalists. Especially since ABC turned The Bachelorette finale into a three-hour affair. People forget, but it looked like The Bachelor franchise was dunzo for a while there!
• NBC aired a reality stars edition of Fear Factor featuring Apprentice villain Omarosa, American Idol finalist Nikki McKibbin, Amazing Race winner Reichen Lehmkuhl, Survivor winners Jenna Morasca and Ethan Zohn, and Trista and Ryan Sutter, the most successful couple in Bachelor franchise history.
• The WB premiered a new season of Aaron Spelling's Summerland, a silly show about a bunch of Kansas orphans who go to live with Lori Loughlin in Southern California. Current teen idol Jesse McCartney and future teen idol Zac Efron were both on this show.
• Tonight's special sweeps guest stars: Bubbles himself, Andre Royo, guested on another Baltimore-set show, UPN's Cuts.
• Days of our Lives actress and future Biggest Loser host Alison Sweeney was on maternity leave, her character Sami went undercover as "Stan," and Stan was played by actor Dan Wells, a man. If someone wants to make a newer, gayer version of Tootsie (maybe with a horror or supernatural bent?) here is your starting point!
• Before they were famous: Patricia Arquette used her psychic powers to save Jeannette McCurdy on Medium. Also, Ashley Benson showed up on 7th Heaven.

TiVo Status

The Masterpiece Theater miniseries The Lost Prince, a Frontline documentary, the TV movies Sucker Free City, Lackawanna Blues, School of Life, and Ladies Night, tw0 episodes of Miracle's Boys, and one episode each of Monk and Without a Trace. 17 hours total.

Music, 20 years ago

The fact that at the height of the Bush era, a band as gay as the Scissor Sisters became mainstream and successful enough to get booked on SNL and The Tonight Show makes me so happy. And they did it without compromising, this performance is so queer. I would love to know what the dads watching Leno made of it. And they perform "Laura," one of my favorite songs from their debut album.