What was on TV? Sun, Feb 13, 2005

20 years ago, Howard Dean was elected as the head of the DNC. Let's see what was on TV!

7:00 King ogf the Hill on Fox

9x06 "The Petriot Act"

Tonight's King of the Hill takes on the pet healthcare industry. Someone on the staff clearly had a very sick and expensive cat. The huckster vet is voiced by Jason Bateman and it's a pretty vicious and incisive takedown of the industry. I hope that they direct this energy at the human healthcare industry too.

7:30 Malcolm in the Middle

6x10 "Billboard"

I was 12 in 2005, so take this with a grain of salt. But feminism was not part of the cultural zeitgeist in the aughts. There's a reason why people freaked out when Beyonce made it part of her brand.

But here we have a very special episode about feminism, and a very funny one at that. Malcolm and Dewey accompany Reese as he attempts to spray paint the words "I want Reese" on a billboard featuring a stripper. But Mom catches them in the act and Malcolm pivots and changes it to "I want respect." And before you know it, there's a whole protest outside, and now the police can't take them down. I was expecting the show to make fun of the protesters: TV loved making fun of activists, and women, and especially female activists in the 2000s. But the protesters are protrayed as earnest, righteous, organized, and generous, if perhaps a little clueless. The jokes are on our series regulars, as it should be. It all culminates in an insane fantasy sequence starring Reese and the woman on the billboard. She is still billboard-sized, and the sequence is truly strange, horny, and dirty, and I can't believe it made it onto network television. Shoutout to director Bryan Cranston! And the woman does open Reese's eyes, and the episode ends with a great speech in which he proclaims that all these women want is respect and that it's pretty messed up that they have to make such a ruckus to ask for something so simple. Honestly, the speech holds up! Listen to Reese!

8:30 Arrested Development on Fox

2x10 "Ready, Aim, Marry Me!"

Last week, I was disappointed to see Arrested Development make such poor use of Christine Taylor. But this week's special sweeps guest star fares much better. Sometimes Martin Short's energy can take over a show. On Arrested Development, he fits right in.

He plays George Sr.'s wealthy friend Jack Dorso who starred in the 1940s radio series Red McGibbon and the Bullett: Nazi Hunters (he was the bullett). After Red was targeted by the Red Scare, Jack reinvented himself as a fitness guru, but he overdid it and lost the use of his legs. Now a giant man named Dragon carries him everywhere he goes.

This is obviously an insane character. Sometimes Short rails it in. On Arrested Development, they made sure he wouldn't have to. I'm so glad.

9:00 Carnivale on HBO

2x06 "Road to Damascus" (record Desperate Housewives on ABC)

Lots of stuff happened in this episode. But Rita Sue mentioned her dream to start an alligator farm with Felix, and that was all I could think about. Give me a show about Rita Sue and Felix operating an alligator farm and nagviagting their very messy but nevertheless loving open marriage. Unleash these sexy weirdoes on Florida! Libby can come too!

10:00 Desperate Housewives recorded)

1x14 "Love is in the Air"

It's hard to have faith in the human race. It's hard to believe that good things can happen. Sometimes, when I'm feeling especially despondent, I think about Kathryn Joosten. And I always feel better.

Kathryn Joosten worked as a nurse, then quit when she got married. Her husband turned out to be a cheating dirtbag. She divorced him, and was left to support her kids on her own. She juggled multiple jobs (location manager for commercials! wallpaper hanger!) for years. She put her kids in an afterschool community theater program because it made for a pretty program. She made her stage debut in Gypsy and she was hooked. She worked (while supporting three kids!) in bigger and bigger local productions until she got her actors equity card. She worked as a Disney castmember. She moved to LA and slept on her son's couch. She booked tiny TV parts and got an agent. And eventually she booked some iconic roles: Mrs. Landingham on The West Wing, the titular old lady in the Scrubs episode My Old Lady.

Before long, she was a beloved television mainstay. In 2004, she starred in ten different television shows. She reprised her role on Scrubs, she played the waitress on Luke and Lorelai's first date, she was Delia's babysitter on Everwood, she played God (yes, God) on Joan of Arcadia. In 2005, she would appear in eight different TV programs, plus the hit movie Wedding Crashers. But she appeared on Desperate Housewives first, as cranky neighbor Mrs. McCluskey. Watching her in this episode, you understand why she was in such high demand. She plays a walking cliche: a cranky old neighbor who gets in a fight with Lynette eventually reveals her tragic backstory. But Joosten elevates it. This stock old lady feels like a full person, you can imagine a whole life for her off the screen. She could be a joke, but in Joosten's hands she is a person with dignity and principles. Her feud with Lynette is truly funny and the revelation of the tragic backstory got me choked up!

The writers and fans loved Joosten. She would ultimately appear in over 80 episodes of Desperate Housewives, winning two Emmys for her work. I made for a truly extraordinary journey, and you should really read it in Joosten's own words. And it always makes me believe that good things can happen. It makes me believe in futures better than what I imagined, for myself, for the people I love, and for the planet. To quote Joosten herself:

I've come to realize that I cannot arrive at success. There is no "there" there. It is a continuum. I don't advise anyone to give up an assured life for a fling at a dream. Be flexible enough to envision what the future may hold, but also realistic enough to hedge your bets. Then you can follow the unknown path, one step at a time.

Also On TV: The 47th Annual Grammy Awards!

Only portions of the 2005 Grammys survive on YouTube. The opening number featured the Black Eyed Peas, Gwen Stefani, Eve, Los Lonely Boys, Maroon 5, and Franz Ferdinand (talk about a time capsule). Usher performed with James Brown. Alicia Keys shredded "If I Ain't Got You." Ten different Grammy mainstays including Stevie Wonder, Billie Joe Armstrong, Nora Jones, Brian Wilson, and Tim MacGraw performed "Across the Universe." The resulting trainwreck was sold on iTunes to benefit survivors of the recent tsunami. Record and album of the year went to the recently deceased Ray Charles. This confirmed every negative stereotype about Grammy voters, and also made the whole ceremony feel like a sideshow in Jamie Foxx's ongoing best actor campaign.

Unfortunately, all the most interesting parts of this ceremony all involve Kanye West. I have to talk about him. And not only do I have to talk about a man who's spent the past week buying up ad time to sell designer swastika t-shirts, I have to talk about this incredibly complex generational talent, and my knowledge of his career and work is strictly surface level.

But I did watch him in this ceremony. He has the best loser's reaction, when Maroon 5 wins best new arist. He has the best performance. His "Jesus Walks" features church pews, complex choreography, a billowing sheet with corresponding lighting effects, an "I'll Fly Away" interlude starring John Legend, and total emotional commitment on his part. And he gives the best speech of the night, when he wins best rap album for the first (but not last) time. He's joking, then so emotional and raw you feel uncomfortable watching, then sincerely respectful and thankful, then joyful and celebratory, and finally bratty and braggadocious. Everyone remembers the "everyone wanted to know what would happen if I didn't win...guess we'll never know." It's been memed and clipped to death. But it has a unique power when it comes after this total roller coaster of a speech.

I am the furthest thing from a Kanye West expert. But I watch this ceremony and I understand his talent, his daring, and his charisma. I understand why this person had such a hold on millennials, music critics, and the culture at large. I also see the volatility and the appetite for controversy, which would take him to some pretty dark places. But thinking "we should have known" back in 2005 is pure folly. Lots of famous people display similar patterns of behavior (or worse!) and end up processing their damage or just getting really into like, veganism or something. Back in 2005, his artistry was boundless, his imagination was huge. I wish it had gone a different way, for him, and for us.

What Else Was On

• Tonight's special sweeps guest stars: 50 Cent on The Simpsons, Betty White and Kerry Washington on Boston Legal, and Billy Zane on Charmed,
• Chris Noth took a break from Mr. Big and returned to the Law and Order franchise, as he began splitting leading man duties with an apparently exhausted Vincent D'Onofrio on Criminal Intent.
• American Dreams was yanked from the schedule for February sweeps. Tonight, a repeat for Criminal Intent aired in its place. An ominous sign.

TiVo Status

The Masterpiece Theater miniseries The Lost Prince, the Frontline documentary House of Saud, the TV-movies Sucker Free City and Lackawanna Blues, and one episode each of Monk, and Without a Trace. 12 hours total.

And a song

"Jesus Walks" deserved to win song of the year (John Mayer won). American Idiot should have won album of the year. And as for record of the year? Peace up, A-Town down!