What was on TV? Sun, March 6, 2005

20 years ago, John Green published Looking for Alaska, laying the groundwork for an entire subculture. Let's see what was on TV!

7:00 King of the Hill on Fox

9x08 "Mutual of OmAbwah"

The premise for this episode is the stuff of nightmares: Hank discovers that he had a major brain fart and forgot to pay the car and homeowner's insurance bills. He overnights a check to the insurance company, but they will be totally uninsured for an entire weekend. He becomes determined to avoid risk at all costs, and his son Bobby joins him in his zeal.

Meanwhile, across the street, their friend Dale had begun charging people for the privilege of getting stung by his bees (bee stinging is the latest health craze!) and their other friends have become obsessed with deep frying any and every kind of food. Raging fires and swarming bees follow. And so Hank must teach his son a lesson: sometimes the risk is worth it, especially when you're helping your very stupid but totally lovable friends. It makes for a great parable about what you're willing to sacrifice in the name of safety, a very timely theme in the Bush era.

7:30 Malcolm in the Middle on Fox

6x12 "Living Will"

I thought I was misremembering the whole Terri Schiavo case. Was it really that big a story? It happened near where I grew up, so maybe it seemed bigger than it actually was. But no, it was HUGE. Terri Schiavo was just a woman who'd spent a decade in a coma. Her parents and husband disagreed about whether to unplug her. The case became a kind of proxy for more charged debates surrounding reproductive rights and stem cell research. The story was a Fox News staple, and it bled into the mainstream press as well, marking an early example of that dangerous trend.

And something was just in the air. ER and King of the Hill both explored right-to-die issues earlier this season (in their Christmas episodes, weirdly), before the Schiavo case blew up. The season 1 finale of Deadwood even explores the ethics of compassionate euthanasia. And now Malcolm in the Middle does an episode that seems directly inspired by the case, as Hal is given power of attorney over his neighbor in a coma. There are scenes where relatives and doctors express opposing sides of this whole debate, with Hal caught between them. It's all fascinating. What semi-forgotten culture-war battleground will bubble up into mid-aughts TV next?

8:00 Miracle's Boys (recorded)

1x05 "Free Day" (record Their Eyes Were Watching God on ABC)

School is canceled, so the three brothers at the center of this miniseries have a day to themselves. "No school today" is always a good idea on a teen drama (just last month, Everwood did a great senior skip day episode). The youngest boy tries to work up the courage to ask out his crush. The oldest boy also has a crush at work and must tell her that he is not a cool college boy but a college dropout taking care of his orphaned brothers. Meanwhile, the troubled middle child runs away and terrifies everyone. By the end of the episode, the romantic sub-plots move forward (adorably), but the relationship between the brothers is more troubled than ever, setting the stage for the finale. It's a great penultimate episode.

And since this is the penultimate episode, I want to make sure I talk about the music while I still have the chance. The score for the series is by Bud'da, a hip-hop producer best known for his work with Ice Cube, Dr. Dre, and Aaliyah. His work here sounds totally unlike any other film and television scores from the era. It blends hip-hop beats with classical guitar. This is thematically appropriate since Charlie, the series' most interesting character, is a gifted guitar player. But it also just sounds amazing! I love classical guitar music, and Bud'da's command of the genre is excellent. And then sometimes he'll throw in other weird stuff, like a hint of Bernard Hermann style strings? And it works! It's one of the best and most exciting television scores I've ever heard, and it takes the series to a whole new level.

(Also, this episode was directed by LeVar Burton! Great work man!)

8:30 Arrested Development on Fox

2x11 "Out on a Limb"

There were two episodes of Arrested Development tonight. Julia Louis-Dreyfuss was reprising her role as not-actually-blind defense attorney Maggie Lizer from last season, so Fox aired both her episodes back to back (look for my review of the second one after the HBO shows). Plus, Christine Taylor is back as Michael's childhood crush. This really showcases how unsatisfying the writing for Michael's love interests is. Christine Taylor has nothing to do, which continues to piss me off. But Julia is underserved too! She's Julia Louis-Dreyfuss, so she can make mountains out of molehills. But I was surprised that she kind of had to. The whole plot centers around whether she's pregnant or not. It's all about her, but she doesn't get to have much fun. It's not the kind of comedic showcase that Martin Short got a couple of weeks ago and that's a bummer.

You know who gets a great showcase this week? Jessica Walter. Buster might be going off to war, for real this time, and we see Lucille at her most vulnerable and human. And that just makes her funnier! She finds Jesus! She trashes Jimmy Kimmel! I gave the rewind button a good workout, experiencing each of her jokes a second and third time.

9:00 Deadwood

2x01 "A Lie Agreed Upon: Part 1"

Now that's how you start a second season! You can write thousands of words about a single Deadwood episode, and plenty of people have. But this post is already too long, so I'll just discuss my two favorite scenes.

The Alma and Seth sex scene is the hottest one I've seen so far in this project. Not even an implied foot fetish can kill the vibes. The fact that the show makes you believe and understand that this is a bad idea amid all that blistering hotness is extraordinary.

This episode also features perhaps the best fight I've seen in this project. This is equally impressive, since TV was much better at fight scenes than sex scenes in 2005, so the competition is stiffer. Seth and Al circle each other throughout the first half of the episode, and when the violence explodes, it's spectacular. They tumble off the balcony and roll around in the mud. It's clumsy and gross and brutal. Al finds a knife and is ready to kill Seth, sounding even more Shakespearean than usual. But then he sees Seth's wife and child. We linger on the moment and then he says "Welcome to fucking Deadwood!" Then he stands up and pulls a muscle. The pulled muscle is what stays with me. Ian McShane is a genius.

10:00 Carnivale on HBO

2x09 "Lincoln Highway" (record The L Word on Showtime)

I've been hot and cold on the second and final season of Carnivale, but I was all in on this episode. Sermons, murder, vision quests, baseball, tarring and feathering, creepy birds, this episode has it all! It looks and sounds great (this episode received Emmy nominations for Jeffrey Jur's cinematography and Jeff Beal's score). It advances the plot and the mythology in super exciting ways, and the character moments kick ass too. Iris murdering that poor lady by the lake is some of Amy Madigan's best work to date. Brother Justin's sermon is his best one yet (the Evangelical Nationalist Xenophobia felt even more 2025-appropriate than usual). I am both excited and terrified to see him and Sofie working together.

But most of all, there's the scenes in the desert with Ben, Jonesy, and Libby. Jonesy gets tarred and feathered as revenge for a Ferris Wheel accident as his new wife watches. The first time I heard about tarring and feathering was probably around 2005, in a history textbook. In that context it seems quaint and far away. Actually seeing it? Oh my god! It took me a minute to realize what was going on (for a second I wondered if it was a blackface thing). But then the feathers came out and my blood ran cold. Jonesy is my favorite, and I really thought this was the end. And Libby is my favorite too, and seeing her scream as this man she threw it all away for was tortured...gut-wrenching. And their dream sequences? Libby's trippy nature-themed one is great, but Jonesy dreaming of his best baseball game wrecked me. Then Ben comes, and we realize he's going to use his gift and heal Jonesy, whatever the price. And he ends up healing Jonesy all the way, curing his injured knee. Watching Tim DeKay throw a pitch made me so happy. And the image of him and Libby embracing, the tar still hanging on him in almost a toga shape and making him look like some Roman hero, with Ben off to the side, the lone hero? Obsessed! I loved this episode. Now I'm sad there are only three more.

What a great night of television. And it's not over yet!

11:00 Arrested Development (recorded)

2x12 "My Hand to God"

It happened. My favorite Arrested Development joke. Everything about Buster's lost hand is perfect. The "loose seal" pun. It all being Gob's fault. And "I'm a monster!" is my favorite single image from this show. It lives with me, playing in my head after every time I have a bitchy thought.

What Else Was On

Punk'd returned! Prank victims included Eva Longoria, Salma Hayek, and R&B star Mario.

TiVo Status

The Masterpiece Theater miniseries The Lost Prince, a Frontline documentary, the TV movies Sucker Free City, Lackawanna Blues, Their Eyes Were Watching God, and Ladies Night, tw0 episodes of Miracle's Boys, and one episode each of Monk and The L Word. 18 hours total.

Music, 20 years ago

I talked about Bud'da's score for Miracle's Boys in my review above. But I also want to mention the theme song by Nas. Because Nas did the theme song for this show! Nas must be a fan of classic sitcoms, since he writes a classic sitcom theme, one that introduces the premise and each character one by one.

Nas also betrays his love for television in "These Are Our Heroes," a song on his 2004 double album Street's Disciple. The whole song is a celebration of beloved Black cultural figures and a fascinating and meaty meditation on what it means to be a black role model and on what makes for "good" or "bad" representation. And in the big hook is "Let's hear it, one for the coons on UPN9 and WB." Now I have an image of Nas sitting down every Monday for the UPN comedy block. I wonder who his favorite Girlfriend is? I bet he has thoughts about One on One and The Parkers and a whole bunch of shows.