What was on TV? Thurs, Dec 9, 2004

20 years ago, Nick Cassavetes was going to direct an Iron Man movie for New Line Cinema. Let's see what was on TV.

8:00 The OC on Fox

2x05 "The SnO.C." (record Joey on NBC)

Available on Hulu and Max

A ship is only as good as its rival interest. I feel very strongly about this. I hate when shows give characters boring rival love interests while keeping their OTPs apart. If you introduce a rival love interest, they should be a good character, obviously. They should exist beyond their romantic function, ideally they will have relationships with other cast members besides their love interest. And I should understand why our main character likes them! And if it's a comedy, they should be funny. I call this the Maris principle, since Maris was all these things and more on Frasier, despite the fact that she was neither seen nor heard.

The OC has introduced four brand new love interests for our four leads. So far none of them pass the Maris test. The show just can't quit its main ships! Everything is about Seth and Summer and Ryan and Marissa and we won't take the time to build the love interests or their relationships with our main people. And so I don't care about DJ, or Zach, or Lindsay, or Alex even though they're driving so much story. The big twist at the end of this episode promises to bring Lindsay into the plot in a major way. And I know the show eventually blew up this pair of concentric love triangles in a really unexpected (for 2004) way, so I'm excited to see that play out.

This episode was written by John Stephens, who later wrote for Gossip Girl, Gotham, and Pennyworth.

This episode was directed by Ian Toynton. He has worked as a producer and director on 24, Bones, and The OC.

9:00 Joey (recorded)

1x12 "Joey and the Plot Twist"

Available on the internet archive

This is a Christmas episode with cute family stuff and decorations and whatnot. But I mostly enjoyed it as a historical artifact: a TV episode about spoiler culture from 2004. Joey is about to start work on Deep Powder, some kind of soap set at a ski resort (it sounds more fun than The Mountain, a WB show with that exact premise that premiered that fall). At a press conference, Joey feels overwhelmed and blows the big plot twist: Nat Faxon dies! So showrunner Lucy Liu has to rewrite the whole thing, and now it's Joey's character who's in jeopardy!

Spoiler culture was still in its infancy at this point. It grew with the rise of the internet, of nerd culture, of superhero cinema, and of more serialized storytelling on TV. Things were already in motion. Spider-Man 2 had premiered the previous Summer. And Lost, probably the show most responsible for creating spoiler culture and the spoiler economy, was in the middle of its blockbuster first season.

But spoiler culture existed before that too, and the writers of Joey knew that all too well. Most of them has worked on Friends, where producers worked overtime to ensure developments like Monica and Chandler's hookup or the fate of Ross and Rachel stayed secret. And still, the finale script leaked online.

This episode has a teleplay by Craig Digregorio and story by Jon Pollack. DiGregorio was a showrunner on As vs. the Evil Dead and Kevin Can Go F**k Himself. Pollack wrote for 30 Rock, Community, and Modern Family.

This episode was directed by Kevin Bright, a director and producer on Friends.

9:30 Peep Show on BBC America

1x06 "Funeral"

Available on Tubi and other FAST services

Jez's uncle dies, and he and mark look to exploit this turn of events to get laid. This reaches its apex when Mark and Sophie (Olivia Colman) finally kiss after six episodes. In another show, this would be a moment of triumph in the vein of Sam and Diane and Jim and Pam. But here, we just see horrifying close-ups of their faces thanks to the show's use of POV shots. And Mark's voiceover is entirely pre-occupied with his abnormally large balls, as he wonders whether he should get another guy to take a look at said balls. This, while he kisses the supposed girl of his dreams! Perfection.

10:00 ER on NBC

11x09 "Twas the Night" (record Without a Trace on CBS)

Available on Hulu and Max

Homeless kids, a patient with severe lupus and a neglectful doctor, and the ethics of euthanizing your terminally ill dad. Merry fucking Christmas from ER. But then Abby and Neela steal from the toy drive for homeless kids to give presents to the homeless kids who are also in the ER on Christmas, and my heart was warmed.

This episode was written and directed by Julie Hebert. She also wrote and directed episodes of Numbe3rs, Boss, and American Crime.

What Else Was On

• On the WB, you coudld watch the Family TV Awards, in which advertisers gave out awards to the most wholesome programming on the dial. Many good shows won awards (Lost, Bernie Mac, Joan of Arcadia) but the entire premise irks me.
• John Mayer's TV show (creatively titled John Mayer has a TV Show) premiered on Vh1. And he thought he was soooo much better than Jessica Simpson.

TiVo Status

The three-hour Masterpiece Theater miniseries The Lost Prince and The Office Christmas Special from across the pond (2 hours), one episode of Without a Trace, and one episode of Top Model. 7 hours with 21 hours of space left.